Happy Thanksgiving

No grammar lesson today. Spend time with your family and friends, and focus on all the things for which you are thankful.

Besides, I don't have time to come up with a lesson today. The wife is working me to death in the kitchen -- but I love her and am very thankful for her.

Happy Thanksgiving! My snarky self will be back tomorrow.

liable/likely

As is the case with many pairs of words I've discussed in the past, there is some shade of difference between the two.

"I'm liable to go crazy if you don't be quiet." Well, not really. You're using it in the wrong context here.

Likely is used when an event is probable or expected to occur. You're likely to go bonkers if that person doesn't shut up.

Liable can have two uses. One use relates to a point of law or an obligation of some sort. You may be liable for damages. It can also be used when an event involves some degree of risk. If you hit the slopes but don't know how to ski, you are liable to break your leg.

I refuse to be held liable in the unlikely event that you learn nothing from this blog and roam the countryside an illiterate oaf.

oral/verbal

You might think these two words are the same. Think again, my good friend.

Oral, obviously, refers to the mouth, so anything that is oral is spoken. An oral exam could be one of two things. It's either a closer look at your mouth conducted by an oral surgeon, or it's a test in school whereby all your answers are spoken.

Verbal, on the other hand, could be spoken or written. I guess that means, if you look at it more closely, anything oral is automatically verbal, but not everything verbal is automatically oral. My head is starting to hurt.

What if you were to enter into a verbal contract? Is it spoken or written? It could be either. That's up to you to decide.

I would have to advise against such a contract, however. That's my legal advice for the day. See, you get more than just grammar tips here. I've got it all. I should probably refrain from giving medical advice, though.

morbid/moribund

This lovely pair of words has often been confused, but there is a shade of difference between them. There's just a tad of overlap, but not enough that they should be considered interchangeable.

Morbid, of course, means "sullen, gloomy, depressed, dark, morose, gruesome, or grisly." Okay, I think you get the idea. When you pass an accident, you just have to look because of a morbid curiosity. You know you want to. We all do.

Moribund, however, means "on the verge of death or extinction." The bald eagle has long been considered a moribund species.

It never ceases to amaze me when I hear this used incorrectly. Broadcasters are notorious for this. I'm watching a professional football game, basketball game, etc. A certain team is having just a horrendous season -- bad coaching, team turmoil, hideous play. The announcer suddenly refers to the team as "a moribund franchise."

Unless everyone on the team is about to drop dead or the team will soon be extinct, it's the incorrect usage. I must admit, however, that is something I'd like to see.

Call me morbidly curious.

nauseated/nauseous

Have you ever felt nauseous? That's interesting. Technically speaking, that's not even possible.

The difference between these two is a matter of semantics, really. If you're not feeling well, you're nauseated. The thing causing the sickness is nauseous. That could be a horrible smell or your brother. In some cases, those two could be interchangeable. Sorry.

I was nauseated by the nauseous smell emanating from the manure factory. I know they don't manufacture manure. It's just an example.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to think of another non-nauseous post for tomorrow that hopefully won't leave you nauseated.

discomfort/discomfit

Recently, dictionaries have come to accept these two as almost synonymous. Purists, however, disagree.

It should be fairly obvious (even to you) that discomfort refers to a mild pain or a slight uneasiness. Failing the test was very discomforting because he thought he had prepared well.

Well, what about discomfit? Glad you asked. This one actually means "a rout or a total defeat." Notice the difference? I thought so.

Now that you are aware of the difference, stop using them as synonyms.

It is discomforting to think that if you continue using these words interchangeably, their correct uses will become completely discomfited. You don't want that on your conscience, do you?

stationary/stationery

When you go to the gym, do you ride the stationary bike or the stationery bike? By the way, it's good that you're getting some exercise.

You're actually riding the stationary bike. This version of the word means "fixed, in one place, or not moving." When you're sitting at your desk working, you're stationary.

Stationery, with an "e," refers to paper, envelopes, etc. Do you know how I remember this one? The word "envelope" begins with an "e," so that's the version to use when referring to paper goods. Pretty nifty, huh?

As you can see, if you're riding a stationery bike, you're riding one made out of paper. I'm no expert, but I don't think you can get a good workout on a bike like that. It seems as though it would be kind of flimsy.

As I said, though, it's good that you're exercising. Keep it up. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

learn/teach

I know this distinction may seem overly obvious, but you'd be surprised at the number of students who have confused this pair. Amazing, I know.

To learn is the act of receiving knowledge. You can learn to ride a bike, learn how to bake a cake, learn how to tie your shoes, and learn the difference between these two words.

To teach is the act of giving knowledge. I can teach you all these grammar rules, teach you how to sew (but I don't know how), teach you how to fall out of a tree, and teach you nuclear fusion.

By the way, the past tense of learn is learned. It's not learnt, and the past tense of teach most certainly is not teached. It's, of course, taught. Go ahead and laugh. I've seen it firsthand.

Now, aren't you glad I learned you well today? I know it's incorrect. Just checking.

flounder/founder

You've undoubtedly heard of flounder, but founder is one of those words you don't hear very often. Maybe because a lot of people don't know what it means. Well, I'm here to change that.

If you flounder, you stumble or flail around like a fish on a pier. Speaking of fish, a flounder is a type of fish, but we're referring to it here as a verb. Since it was his first time on skates, John floundered all over the ice.

You can also founder, but you probably don't want to do that. Foundering isn't a good thing since it means "to fail miserably." Given the current state of the economy, many businesses unfortunately are foundering.

I guess since John floundered all over the ice, he foundered at his first attempt at skating. Don't worry, though. He'll get better.

Did you ever notice that there seems to be a disproportionate number of guys named John who can't skate? All right, you got me. I made that one up.

principal/principle

Let's make this one short and sweet. I'm a little behind today, so time is at a premium. Don't get so upset. I'm not blaming you. Geez!

The word principal means "the highest or most important." What is your principal argument? This is my principal reason for not going. I still see my middle school principal every once in a while. Do you remember the way you were taught this one? The principal is your pal. Hokey I know, but it works.

A principle is a basic truth or law. Chivalry was the principle all knights followed during the Middle Ages. I love King Arthur tales, don't you?

Now that you know the difference, your principal goal should be to not forget, which would obviously compromise your principles.

I don't know what that means either.

capital/capitol/Capitol

I have a capital idea. Let's clarify the proper way to use this trio.

Capital refers to something that is "the best" or "the most important." You can have a capital letter, a state capital (as in a city), capital punishment, or, as in my case, a capital idea.

The word capitol (without a capital letter) is the actual building that houses the state legislature. Senators called an emergency meeting at the capitol in the capital city of Des Moines.

Then we have Capitol (with a capital letter). Yikes! I'm tired of saying capital, capitol, and Capitol. In this instance, we are referring to the building that houses the United States legislature in Washington, D.C.

Representative Smith left the Capitol to head back to the capitol building in the capital city of his home state.

Come to think of it, maybe this wasn't such a capital idea after all.

avert/divert/revert

I'm just sitting here thinking how quickly this year is going. I can't believe it's almost Thanksgiving. That means Christmas is just around the corner. Usually, I have my shopping done by now, but since I have to play grammar educator, I haven't had time. Thanks, everyone.

Now for today's lesson -- three words that sound similar but certainly aren't. To avert is to avoid something. The strike was averted when both sides agreed at the last minute.

To divert something or someone is to cause a temporary distraction. My attention was diverted by the blue, one-legged jaguar I saw out my kitchen window. He certainly didn't move very quickly. I'm not sure why he was blue. Anyway. . .

If you revert to something, you essentially go back to an earlier time. An adult who likes to play with toys is reverting to his or her childhood.

By the way, please do not use the phrase revert back. I hear that all the time. When you revert, you are going back. You people and your redundancies. . . I've addressed this before, and I'm sure I'll have to address it again.

e.g./i.e.

Okay, so you want to sound like a boorish snob in your use of the language. That's fine. Just be sure you use these correctly.

If you like e.g., be sure to use it in place of for example. There are many places I'd like to visit, e.g., London, Paris, Vienna, and Pahrump, Nevada. Nothing against Pahrump. I'm sure it's a wonderful town. I just like the way it sounds.

If i.e. seems to be calling your name, use it to replace the phrase that is. He has one unusual physical characteristic, i.e., his left foot is three times larger than his right. That's the reason for the clown shoe.

You'll notice that when using these in written form, there is a comma both before and after. You already noticed that? Fantastic.

Time to go. I have things to do, e.g., watch some college football, do some yard work, and pet my dog. I'm trying to postpone the inevitable, i.e., grading papers.

than/then

This pair is a grammar classic. Show me an English teacher who hasn't seen this: "I'm smarter then my sister." No, you're obviously not. If you were, you'd have better control of the language. Now go sit down. You've forfeited your chance to participate the remainder of the day.

Than is used when you're making comparisons or contrasts. "I'm smarter than you." "You're dumber than me." "My dog is better looking than yours."

Then is correct when one thing results from another. "We washed the car, and then we waxed it." "We'll go to dinner, and then we'll go to the movie."

Whenever a student makes a hideous error with these, I get madder than a hornet. Then I have to take some aspirin to cure the headache I've incurred from banging my head against the wall.

Excuse me. I have to go clean my erasers. I'm sure I'll be clapping my head with them soon.

compliment/complement

Compliment or complement? It's an interesting pair of words, don't you think?

If you tell your husband, wife, or significant other that his or her dinner didn't suck tonight, that wouldn't be very nice; therefore, that's not much of a compliment. Telling her she looks good, telling him he is a master with a crescent wrench, or telling her she plays the harp well are all nice compliments. When you want to be nice, this is the form to use.

Complement is used when one person or thing has a characteristic that another doesn't, but the two together make more of a whole. Huh? Calm down. Let me give you an example.

If you're a master macaroni and cheese maker but aren't exceptionally neat, and he or she loves to load the dishwasher, those two actions complement each other.

You're a great athlete but you're significant other isn't. He or she loves to watch sports, however. That's a perfect complement. Is it clear now? If so, compliments are always appreciated.

hyper-/hypo-

Have you ever seen a hyperactive kid at the grocery store? I sure have. In fact, I've seen more than my share right in my own classroom. It makes you wonder, doesn't it? How do they get like that? Well, that's not the topic for today. Come to think of it, that won't be the topic for any day.

Today we look at the prefixes "hyper-" and "hypo-." I used the example of the hyperactive kid because we all know it means he or she has too much energy; consequently, "hyper-" refers to "too much" or "more than normal."

"Hypo-," on the other hand, means "too little" or "not enough." If you are hypoglycemic, your blood sugar level is too low. A hypodermic needle goes under the skin -- maybe to inject something that is hypoallergenic. I don't know. I'm not a doctor.

Hey, that gives me an idea. Maybe we can put something into the hypodermic needle and give it to the hyperactive kid. That might work. At least it's worth a try.

On a serious note, thank you to all our veterans. We truly appreciate everything you've done.

empathy/sympathy

Like many other pairs discussed previously, these are used interchangeably, but they shouldn't be.

If you hear about someone getting injured in an accident are you empathetic? Not so much, especially if you don't want to find yourself in the same tragedy. . .and I don't think you do.

You're empathetic if you see yourself in the same situation as another. You're putting yourself in his or her place.

You're sympathetic if you feel sorry for another. Unless you can understand the plight of the accident victim because you were there at one time, you're sympathetic.

If you feel empathy for me because I'm a teacher, you better have been in a classroom at some point. Instead, you feel sorry for me. Man, you had better feel sorry for me.

flout/flaunt

Have you ever heard of someone "flaunting the rules" before? I know I have. I'm not even sure that's possible.

This pair may sound similar, but they are not interchangeable.

"Flout" means "to ignore." As a kid, you probably flouted the rules of your parents once or twice, correct? That's what I thought. I know a lot of people around here flout the traffic laws because nobody seems to know what a speed limit is. . .or thinks it doesn't apply to him or her. Frustrating.

To "flaunt" is to "show off." A wife, for example, will flaunt the enormous wedding ring her husband so thoughtfully purchased. A child might flaunt a new toy, and your dog might just flaunt his bone. I'm not sure, however, to whom Fido is showing off.

Well, it's time to stop flouting my other responsibilities while flaunting my astounding intellect. Enough for today.

beside/besides

Are you ready for today's lesson? I know you are. This one is really easy, so I won't need to take up too much of your valuable time.

"Beside" means just what the word implies -- next to or by the side of. An alligator in a Buick pulled up beside me at the red light. I'm still amazed how he could reach the steering wheel with those short arms.

"Besides" has a much different meaning -- in addition to, furthermore, moreover, etc. Tom knew he was going to have a bad day when he got a flat tire. His favorite team lost besides.

I told you this one was easy to digest. I guess it's time to take the dog beside me for a walk. I've got dinner to prepare besides.

No rest for the weary. You don't even care, do you?

there/their/they're

Just as misusing "your" and "you're" makes an English teacher want to cry in his or her Cheerios, this triumvirate of words causes the same hysterical reaction.

I know you people are aware of the correct usage of each word, but, for some reason, you don't go back and make sure you've used the correct one. For the love of all that is sacred, will you do that for me? Pretty please? Let's review.

"There" is an adverb. It tells "where." Correct uses would be, "Put the box over there," or "Stand there," or "I'm not going there, or anywhere else, with you."

By itself, "their" is a possessive pronoun, but it is used as an adjective. "Their books," "their car," "their elephant," or "their whoopie cushion" all indicate which one.

"They're" is simply a contraction meaning "they are." If you don't mean to say "they are," then please don't use it. Can it be any simpler?

Just slow down and think about which form you want to use.

They're going to pick up their new car at the dealership over there.

Done.

subject

For today's post, I subject you to the word "subject." Depending on how you pronounce it, this nifty little word can be one of three parts of speech.

If I pronounce it SUB-ject, it can be a noun or an adjective. As a noun, you can take a subject in school, be the subject of a sentence, or be the subject of the king.

If it's used as an adjective, it precedes the word "to." You can be subject to a bloody nose, subject to long, boring lectures, or subject to torture, which I guess is the same as the lecture thing.

If I were to pronounce it sub-JECT, however, I have now made a verb. I can subject you to a bloody nose, subject you to a long lecture, or subject you to torture. . .but why would I do that? I'm a nice person.

Okay, I won't subject you to any more on this subject since I have to find a new subject to subject you to tomorrow.

present

I am proud to present to you today the word "present." Let's look a little closer, shall we?

With the accent on the second syllable, pre-SENT, we have created a verb. Goody for us. In this sense, it means "to issue or to give forth," as in, "I present to you the keys to this new car."

When I change the stress, however, I have now created a noun and an adjective. Aren't we amazing? Double goody for us.

"PRES-ent" as an adjective means "to be here," as in, "I was present for the meeting." As a noun, it refers to a gift, such as a Christmas present.

You know, I didn't want to mention it, but Christmas is quickly approaching. I'm pretty easy to please, so if you need any suggestions. . .

desert

Same principle here as the previous two posts. Change the stress on one of the syllables, and you change the entire meaning of the word.

If you de-SERT something, you abandon it. Hopefully, when you were a child you didn't come home to find the house deserted. . .or did you? That would explain a lot.

If you live in the Southwest as I do, you know all about the DES-ert, that arid bit of territory that seems to get hotter every year.

Speaking of which, do you know that we broke a record here yesterday of 96 degrees? That's right. . .96!! It's November for crying out loud.

Sorry. I didn't mean to upset those of you in the East and Midwest suffering sub-zero temperatures and endless snow. I guess 96 doesn't sound so bad after all. I think I'll stay right here.

produce

Here's another word that falls into the same category as "refuse" from yesterday.

If you go to the supermarket, you will find all kinds of fruits and vegetables in the PRO-duce aisle. Speaking of supermarkets, is it just me, or do you find that they seem to be twice as cold as they used to be? Why is that? I can understand frozen foods having to be frozen and dairy and produce need some level of coldness, but does it have to be the entire store? I smell a conspiracy.

Back to the matter at hand. To pro-DUCE something means "to make it." So I guess it goes without saying that farmers produce the produce. . .or does Mother Nature actually produce it and the farmer is just her vehicle?

By the way, if it goes without saying, why did I just feel compelled to write it?

refuse

For the next several days, we're going to look at one word per day which, when you put the stress on a different syllable, drastically changes its meaning, even though both forms are spelled exactly the same. That's a long sentence, isn't it? I'm not fond of that. Anyway. . .

This is one of those oddities that makes English such a difficult language for non-native speakers to learn.

The first one is "refuse." If I pronounce it "re-FUSE," it means "to reject" or "to turn down." Hey, "reject" is the same type of word -- "RE-ject" and "re-JECT." Funny.

If, however, I put the stress on the first syllable, "REF-use," it means "trash" or "garbage." There are a whole host of words in the language such as this.

We'll look at four more common ones, so don't refuse to read because you think this is just a bunch of refuse. You figure out which is which.

your/you're

From a teacher's perspective, this one's a classic. I'm not sure whether or not any pair of words is more often misused.

"Your driving me crazy," and "Is this you're book" are examples of sentences teachers see day in and day out. I would assume this is the kind of thing that drives many of them into early retirement.

If you're trying to figure out which one to use, the solution is simple. Since "you're" is a contraction meaning "you are," just say the phrase in the sentence. If it makes sense, use it. If it doesn't, use the pronoun version, "your."

Let's use the examples above. Does it makes sense to say, "You are driving me crazy"? The answer is obvious; therefore, use "you're."

Does it make sense to say, "Is this you are book"? Not only does it make no sense, it's just plain stupid.

The same problem exists with "their," "there," and "they're." That's an issue for a different time. I can only handle so much stupidity for one day.