a lot/alot

People, people, people! Will you stop misusing this one. . .please? When using this phrase to mean "many," the correct form is always, always, always, 100% of the time written as two words. Therefore, "a lot" is correct in that context.

"Alot" is considered nonstandard. Knock it off!

Okay, so here's my theory as to why it's used so much:

It's probably confused with "allot," which means "to distribute or parcel out" or "to set aside for a special purpose." (Thanks dictionary.com.) Yes, I CAN come up with my own definitions, but I figure it's okay once in a while to take the easy route.

I guess people figure if "allot" can be one word, then "alot" can be one word also. But it's not. . .nor will it ever be. So just get it out of your head. Right now!

No, Smarty Pants, I don't have any hard research to support my theory. It's just that. . .a theory. Got any better ideas? I didn't think so.

Next?

affect/effect

Both of these words are standard English. The problem comes with the way each is used. Here's the deal:

"Affect" is a verb while "effect" is a noun. It's that simple. "What effect has the slumping economy had on you, and how has it affected your bank account?"

As a public service announcement, I'm going to give you a tip on how to remember the difference. The word "affect" begins with the letter "a," and that's the letter with which the word "action" begins; and as we all remember from elementary school grammar, an action is a type of verb.

There you go. Now you'll never confuse the two again. You're welcome. You owe me one.

Moving on. . .

eager/anxious

This is undoubtedly one of the most common mistakes in English. I can't tell you how many times I hear someone say he or she is anxious to be going on vacation. Really? Who doesn't like to go on vacation? Here's the scoop on this lovely pair of words. . .

People who use "anxious" in this context mean they're looking forward to a certain event. Here's the problem with that train of thought. "Anxious" is a form of the word "anxiety," meaning you're looking at something with a sense of fear or trepidation.

If the person mentioned above is, indeed, anticipating a lovely vacation (whether it's to the south of France or to Puddlewater, Idaho), he or she is "eager" to be going. If you're anxious about going to Puddlewater, well, then I guess that's understandable. Not that there's anything wrong with the state of Idaho. I've been there. Lovely state. So no nasty posts from Idahoans, please.

From now on, use "eager" when it deals with a sense of positive anticipation rather than a sense of dread.

That being said, I'm eager to share tomorrow's posts with you (although some of you may be anxious. . .but I can't imagine that).

regardless/irregardless

This one is fairly common, fairly obvious, and fairly irritating.

The word "regardless" is used to mean "without regard or concern" as in the statement, "Regardless of whether or not it rains, we're going anyway."

Adding the prefix ir- changes the word to essentially mean "not without regard." What you've effectively done is created a double negative, circular logic, and I'm fairly certain a few other laws of grammar, far too complex for the purposes of this blog. Just don't do it!

The bottom line is that the word "regardless" is the standard form and the one to be used. "Irregardless" is not considered standard and should be avoided at all cost. That means it should never be used. Never. You people never cease to amaze me.

troop/troupe

This one is easy.

Any organized group of people, with the exception of those in the performing arts, is a "troop." Therefore, the group of actors performing at your local community theater is a "troupe."

So, if a nice group of uniformed little girls has a table set up outside the entrance to Wal-Mart selling cookies, and they have a sign that reads, "Support your local Girl Scout troupe," turn and walk the other way -- and make sure you turn 180 degrees. (See previous post for clarification).

Are we set on this one?

360 degrees/180 degrees

You'd be surprised at the number of times I hear this one misused.

When you want to imply that something is the exact opposite, use the phrase "180 degrees." If you say, "My job is 360 degrees from my old one," what you're really saying is it's exactly the same, since 360 degrees is a complete circle.

Let's clarify. If you turn around and stop at 180 degrees, you'd be facing the opposite direction. By completing the circle, you'd be at 360 degrees, thus back to your starting point.

So wise up, people. When you want to mention a situation is totally different, it's 180 degrees. Otherwise, there are 360 reasons why your statement makes absolutely no sense.

Are we finally clear on this? Good.

hanged/hung

This is one of my all-time favorites. Here's the simple answer:

People are hanged. Pictures are hung. Got it?

So stop saying, "The prisoner was hung at midnight," unless he was actually attached to the wall. Stop it. I mean it!

alterior/ulterior

The word "ulterior" is used to describe something done in a hidden, covert way.
i.e. an ulterior motive

I'm not even sure what an alterior is. . .or does. Enough said.

all right/alright

Okay, I admit this one may be a little picky. Traditionalists (like me) claim that "alright" is nonstandard usage. But it's become accepted by many because it's used so often. Come on, people. Stop altering the language.

In the purest sense, it should always be used as two words: "all right"

I guess the single-word version has slipped into the lexicon because of words such as "altogether" and "already," which are standard uses, not to be confused with "all together" and "all ready."

So please help me in my quest to bring some dignity back to the language and stop using the one-word version, alright? Oops. I mean "all right."

Thank you for your support.

Can I Do It?

I suppose I should have more things to worry about. . .the economy, global warming, the cost of gas, why hot dogs come in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight -- but those are things I have little, if any, control over. But. . .

It never ceases to amaze me how often native speakers absolutely annihilate the language. I'm a teacher and I see it every day.

It's bad enough that I see it from my students, but when I see common errors every day in the newspaper, hear them on radio and/or TV, hear them from colleagues, etc., well, let's just say it really frosts my cookies.

That's my purpose in starting this blog. I want to raise your awareness of words/phrases you're misusing and apparently don't even know it. I'll throw out one every day, and you can use it as you see fit. . .or not. What do I care? Hopefully, within about a year (give or take), we'll see the grammar project take off and I won't be so annoyed by you usage butchers anymore. Fair enough?

I'm somewhat of a random thinker, so I don't want this to be just about grammar and usage. I'll toss in other things from time to time just to make it fun and interesting, and I encourage you to do the same. Let's make this sort of a "language lab." Anything you come across that others might find interesting, language-related or not, toss it into the stew. As I said, I love random musings.

I guess I'll leave this post at the top for a couple days just so people know what the heck it's all about. Then I'll start setting you people straight and correcting your abysmal usage. Who knows? I may actually get someone to read it! Hooray!